The Importance of Yes Please

This week was a reminder of the importance of partnership in parenting. It’s funny that it happened on this particular week – one in which our community totally helped share the load. Between friends and neighbors and my parents, I didn’t have to cook one meal or worry about those post-nap, pre-dinner hours. My “connection with community love tank” is completely full because of the kindness and generosity of those surrounding us.

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Breakfast in a Rocketship

On the opposite side, it’s also been a rough week for Frank. He’s reached the 70+ hours schedule that won’t stop until April 18. Even though the girls and I have found a bedtime routine that works, Bea was up, crying that she just wanted daddy to tuck her in. I get it. I wanted daddy to get up out of sleep and tuck her in, too. This time of year renews my awe and appreciation for those parents who do it alone – either by choice or circumstance. What do you do without someone to share the hugs, the frustrations, the load of parenting?

And for us as a couple, this is the moment in tax season when we are like ships passing. Even in the years without kids, this last month and a bit was tough. But now, with two, we never have a moment just the two of us. I think that’s a hallmark of this season of parenting anyway – two kids (and a dog!) and two parents means someone is always occupied. But, adding the time factor, and our shared time as a couple is about as low as it can get without Frank being completely gone. (Again, renewed appreciation for those whose partners travel for extensive periods. It’s rough.)

And yet. At those moments when I just feel like I can’t anymore. Or I just need Frank to step in and share this with me, a gap in his schedule opens. A Noodles date happens or he squeezes in time to take the girls out for donuts so I can write this five minute post.

And I’m reminded that tax season doesn’t last forever. That he is home every night (even if it’s after midnight). And that I do have a partner to share this load. In the meantime, I’m so grateful for those who share as they can. They remind me of the importance of front-loading community. Of accepting help and saying “yes, please.”

Do you have people to help share your load? Or are you more one of the helpers, who takes the burden?

Linked with Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday, a time to write without editing. Today’s prompt is share.

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8 thoughts on “The Importance of Yes Please

  1. God, I wish! This week both Barb and I have had the flu, and there is no one to help. Twenty-three dogs, I was running a fever of 104, and Barb has to get well enough to get back to her job. They depend on her knowledge and skill.

    What it brought home to me is this.- it doesn’t matter how I feel. having the flu atop a terminal illness is a ‘tough luck, Charlie!’ sort of thing. I’m expendable, as long as I do that which is expected.

    But this morning the fever broke, and I am still here. Giving Fate the finger.

  2. Annie, luckily tax season is only for a season. Praying you through this time and that you get those few moments of alone time or time together. I’m in the #52 spot this week.

  3. Annie, I completely agree about having someone to share the load of parenting. I don’t consider it a burden, but it can weigh us down when we are carrying a lot of responsibility! You have such a great perspective. And you’re so right. My heart has new empathy for parents who do it alone all the time. I have seasons where I solo parent because hubby has to travel, but it’s temporary. And even though physical miles separate us, our heart connection is strong and bolsters me when the boys (or I) fall apart.

    I’m glad unexpected moments open up for you guys to have time together. Be intentional about those times. 🙂

    1. It’s such a comfort knowing that, even if we’re not physically in this together right now, we do support each other emotionally. That makes a world of difference!!

  4. Annie, your load needs to be shared and it’s wonderful to hear how connection and community have made such a difference in your ability to stay afloat during a particularly busy time for you with your husband’s heavy work commitments. May you treasure those special family times you get together and continue to seek extra help and support when you need it. Little ones are very time and energy consuming and it’s not a sign of weakness to admit the need of a little tlc or a period to be alone as a couple from time to time. Have a blessed weekend. 🙂

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